Her glasses disintegrated in the heat. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

All together too often I find myself sliding my scroll wheel down past the end of an article. “Maybe,” I think. “Maybe this time someone will have something insightful to say. Maybe they’ll have something interesting to add. Maybe they won’t devolve into puerile name calling and strained metaphors. Maybe.”

Be it optimism or insanity, we may never know. Thus, I present a nuclear option for keeping one from losing their mind on the Internet. Costly, perhaps, and more than a little dangerous, but consider the alternative. It’s either this or watching bieberfan97 call GreenMom a “jewnazi” on Reddit.