Pfft, babies. Am I right, folks?

No, seriously, am I right? I’ve never raised a kid. I’m working from second-hand information here. Everything I know about babies I learned from a combination of Rugrats and the Look Who’s Talking trilogy. And while I feel that that qualifies me for parenthood, I fear my lack of actual hours logged in the field of child rearing may limit my comedic accuracy.

Side note. “Child rearing” sounds like one of those phrases that would get you put on an FBI watch list.