There’s always gotta be one at every table. Everyone’s moving along, having a good time, rolling some dice… then some clever asshole utters words like “grapple” or “decking” or “hang on guys, I want to try and seduce this monk,” and it all goes down the shitter as the game grinds to a screeching halt. Or, in this case, deciding that bacterial life would be a cool thing to put on a character sheet.

Stupid planet Earth, ruining the game for everyone else.