In any activity involving my genitals, I’ll take a seasoned practitioner over a nervous rookie every time. If you’re a virgin, and we’re having sex, you damn well better have an instruction manual in the other hand. Or maybe some kinda sex coach in the room. Something, anything. I’m sorry, I just like my genitals too much to put them in the shaky, ill-prepared hands of an amateur.

What really pisses me off, though, is that way back in the 80s a one Mr. Al Yankovic wrote a song called “Like a Surgeon,” which means I cannot use the most perfect title for this strip. Damn. It.