It seems one of our poor piratical pals is having a bit of an existential dilemma. Understandable, though. Sometimes, you just have to ask yourself the Big Questions. You gotta look inside and ask “why?” Whyyy? Why?!

Why did I write a dumb joke about a pirate? Why construct such a flimsy premise around something I’m only passingly interested in? Why return to these characters when there are others I more readily wish to write for?

No, seriously. Why’d I do that? (And don’t say “aliens.” Everybody says “aliens.” So help me god, if you say “aliens,” I’ll… just don’t say “aliens,” okay?)