I wish I had something clever to put down here. Oh well. Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you were suitably irresponsible during the holiday.

So yeah, I’ve seen an episode of The Twilight Zone or two and played a few games of D&D. I don’t personally subscribe to the idea that your heart’s desire is always your undoing, but that wouldn’t stop me from being overly paranoid if I found a monkey’s paw or magic ring. It’s just not worth risking crazy shit like having your genitals turned into a pumpkin because you constructed your sentence poorly.

I gotta imagine lawyers would find lucrative work in the magical land of fairy tales just drawing up proper wish wording. Sure, it would be tedious to have ’em carefully construct your question, and it probably wouldn’t be cheap, but just remember the alternative. Pumpkin. Genitals.