Yup. Video games. I’m angling for the big times, baby! I’m gonna be the next big thing! Making comics about video games is like a fucking license to print money on the Internet. Few more of these babies and I’ll finally be able to afford that hip replacement. Oh, there’s nothing wrong with my hip. I’ve just decided that that’s my Rich Guy Eccentricity. Random hip replacements.

Aaaaaanyway. I’m not sure exactly which iteration of the Legend of Zelda that’s supposed to be. The text is like Ocarina, but the key is not unlike Zelda the first. And his outfit is like an amalgam of Adult Link and Young link. And since when do you find shit on pedestals? Treasure comes in chests! But then, hey, since when is Zelda about continuity, am I right, fellas? Huh? Huh?

(And now a rant about Zelda! -ed.) Seriously, though, I swear to god that if anyone says the phrase “dual timeline theory” again I will cut a bitch; I’m not even kidding. They’re self-contained, people. We must accept this, lest we find ourselves cast adrift in the nerdy abyss of trying to make fourteen and a half disjointed stories about a magical, sword-wielding elf who saves an imaginary kingdom from an evil gypsy sorcerer pig-man fit into neat, tidy rows. Sometimes you simply must cut your losses.